Tell Me Your Fears. I’ll Tell You Who You Are

I was on the phone recently with a woman whose husband had passed away. She was telling me about his life, and I began to look down at my cell phone. We had spoken for a long time, and I wanted to finish the call and get to work on another project.  


But I was afraid. I was afraid because I knew the widow needed to talk. I did not want to let her down. Yet, I had all the information I needed to lead the funeral service. I was afraid of not getting work done on another project. 

These two fears reveal both empathy and impatience. I was sensitive to the widow’s state of mind yet focused on what was next.

We should pay attention to our fears because of what they reveal about us. They give us insight into what matters most. They are rarely simplistic. The opposite of fear is not always courage. It is a fear of something else.

God’s First Words

I recently came across an article offering advice to this year’s graduates. One beautiful insight stuck out.  It came from my friend Rabbi Lizzi Heydeman. 

God's first words

She noted that  God’s first words in the Bible are “Let there be light.” We typically think of these words solely in terms of the creation of the universe. God creates light, then the waters, then the plants and animals and so forth.

Yet, we are not meant to read the Bible solely for information. We also read it for inspiration. These words are not just about the creation of the universe. They are about the creation of ourselves. 

 “Let there be light” is God’s call to each of us. “Let there be light” inside of you. Let that light shine into the universe. 

Is the Golden Age Over for American Jews?

100 years ago my great-grandfather took a ship from Poland to New York. He eventually made his way to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He soon sent for his two brothers and sister, who made their way there as well.

American Jews

I don’t think he ever told them, as the saying goes, that the streets in America were “paved with gold.” But he did tell them life was much better here. Economic opportunities abounded. Antisemitism was minimal. The future brimmed with possibility.

History proved him right. Those Jews who came to American survived and prospered. Their fate contrasted sharply with those who stayed in Europe. 90 percent of Europe’s Jews were murdered in the Holocaust and the Second World War.

After the war ended, Jewish Americans continued to thrive. Thousands of synagogues were constructed in the 1950s and 1960s. Jews moved into the middle and upper middle classes. Our population also grew, and by the mid 1960s Jews were five percent of American population. As this timeline of American Jewish history shows, Jews have succeeded in America.

How To Deal With Heart-Breaking Loss

5 Lessons from Facebook's Sheryl Sandberg

In Jewish tradition 30 days marks the end of a formal period of mourning knowing as sheloshim. 30 days ago, Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg lost her 47-year-old husband Dave Goldberg. Her children lost their father. The world lost a mensch.

sheryl sandberg loss

Yesterday Sheryl took this opportunity to reflect on her experience. She wrote a lengthy, searing message. They moved me deeply. Here are some of its highlights and lessons:

1. Make Meaning: “When tragedy occurs, it presents a choice. You can give in to the void, the emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even breathe. Or you can try to find meaning…when I can, I want to choose life and meaning.”

2. Don’t Sugarcoat: “A friend of mine with late-stage cancer told me that the worst thing people could say to him was ‘It is going to be okay.’

How To Make Peace With Who You Are

I just returned from a day of literary speed-dating. About 50 authors gathered in New York City, and each had two minutes to explain their book.

jewish genealogy

The ultimate goal was invitations to Jewish book festivals. While nervously waiting for my own presentation, I got to hear two-minute summaries of dozens of books. I loved it.

In listening to the different authors speak, I noticed two major trends.

Is It Offensive to Say “Old Testament?”

In a recent article I referred frequently to the  “Old Testament.” Someone immediately wrote and asked why I was using that “offensive” phrase.

Is it wrong to say "Old Testament?"

“Old Testament,” he said, “implies that  a New Testament supersedes and surpasses it.”

Some research revealed my reader is not alone in his thinking. The respected rabbi James Rudin has written, “I abhor the term Old Testament,” because it suggests “Judaism has been replaced by Christianity and that the New Testament is superior to the Old Testament.”

Is he right? Is “Old Testament” an abhorrent and offensive phrase? I don’t think so. The phrase Old Testament is not ideal. Yet, it is better than any of the alternatives.

A Prayer for Memorial Day

We Remember Them

This poem never fails to move me to tears. Written by Rabbi Jack Riemer and Sylvan Kamens, it has been translated into multiple languages and is often read at Jewish funeral services.

we remember them

At the rising sun and at its going down, we remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we remember them.

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring, we remember them.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer, we remember them.

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn, we remember them.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends, we remember them.

As long as we live, they too will shall live.  For they are now a part of us, as we remember them.

What Everyone Ought to Know about Jerusalem

Jerusalem Day is a Jewish holiday celebrating the unification of the city in 1967. It happened on May 17 of this year.
Jerusalem has produced “kings, killers, prophets, pretenders, caliphs and crusaders, all surfing an ocean of blood.” It is also, says Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks,“the city from the which the Divine Presence has never departed.”

jerusalem day

In other words, Jerusalem is holy and profane. It foments war yet calls for peace. How can this all be true? Why do we care so much about it? What about Jerusalem so captures our imaginations?

1. Jerusalem is hope: The Bible recalls the cry of the Jewish exiles in Babylonia. “If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, may my right hand lose its strength.

Many groups have faced tragedy and exile. Many more have been oppressed and persecuted. Those who survive find a source of hope.

For Jews it is Jerusalem. Jerusalem symbolizes return. It symbolizes home. It symbolizes freedom.

What Makes a Great Rabbi?

People often ask me (and any rabbi) why they became a rabbi. I can answer in two words: “Ron Shapiro.” I suspect at least a dozen others of us who grew up at Congregation Shalom, which he led for 35 years, could say the same.

what makes a great mentor

Role models teach us more than any book can. We know the truth of a statement attributed to Abraham Joshua Heschel. When asked how to nurture effective spiritual leaders, he said, “We do not need more text-books. We need more “text-people.”

A text-person embodies the values we cherish. He or she delivers a sermon with his life, not just his words.

The Secret to Counting Your Blessings: A Jewish Story

Counting our blessings is not something that always comes naturally. Often it’s easier to count our problems.

count your blessings

We are late on a project. Our house needs work. If, God forbid, we have a serious health problem or lose our job, it can consume us.

Focusing on our problems, we sometimes overlook our blessings. As a father, I know I do this. I complain that my kids do not go to sleep on time much more than I express gratitude for being blessed with healthy, happy kids.

Sometimes we need a little push to remind us of our blessings.